I feel your pain.
I feel it because I have been through it too. It is the one thing that every guy is guaranteed to go through: breakups.
You loved her. Now your heart is broken and, it feels like life will never be the same.
Strangely, we get a lot of our concepts of love from… movies. The same beliefs that make beautiful and romantic movies, can destroy your love life in the real world.
Here are 6 things you need to know to get over your ex-girlfriend.
1. Toxic Mindset: You Complete Me
I searched the world. Found you, and now I’m complete.
This belief simply is not true. You don’t need anyone to complete you. It is awesome to share your life with someone special—but you are not a half! You are complete the way you are.
This toxic mindset is that two incomplete/unhappy people will come together and finally get to be happy. That is not love. It’s neediness, craving and attachment.
Let us write a healthier story. A story where two fulfilled/happy people come together and, they share their happiness and positivity.
2. Toxic Mindset: She is My Soulmate
The idea of one soulmate is very cute and romantic. But again, it’s not true.
The harsh reality is that we pick our partners from our social environment. It’s very unlikely that you are going to pick a soulmate who is living in another part of the world.
In the past, we humans lived in small tribes. In those tribes rejection from one woman, might have meant you would never find a partner again.
But we now live in mega-cities with millions of people. And although you won’t believe me: there is more than one girl with whom you are capable of having a romantic connection.
You should cherish the bond you had with your ex. But your future is not all doom and gloom.
3. Toxic Mindset: Love is Pain
We all love tragedies. But your life does not need to be one.
If you find yourself spending more time in breakups than in relationships, then it may be a good idea to ask yourself: Am I addicted to drama?
Believing love is pain, will bring you just that—Pain. Everyone’s life is full of hardships. So there is absolutely no need to go out of your way to find them.
Have your relationships been mostly pain, cheating and lies? Could it be that you are making poor decisions when choosing a partner? Can you imagine yourself being attracted to a healthy, stable woman?
4. Universal Truth: Nothing is Permanent
You didn’t want to lose your partner.
But here you are. You have changed. Your partner has changed and now the story has come to an end.
Life does not personally hate you. It’s in the nature of life to change. Nothing is permanent.
There are 2 choices: you can resist life or you can go with the flow. To go with the flow of life, you’ll need to let go of the past.
5. Universal Truth: All Rejection is Feedback
Rejection feels terrible.
But no one gets through life without failing sometimes. Developing a healthy, loving relationship where both of you are growing is tough.
You have learnt a lot from your old partner. That experience will bring you closer to your ideal relationship. So ask yourself: What can you do better the next time?
6. The Dos and Don’ts
You now have the right mindsets to survive a breakup. But here are a few quick dos and don’ts, just to make sure you stay on the right track.
Don’t stay in touch. You need to give yourself time and space to heal. So, unfollow your ex-girlfriend on social media. Don’t keep gifts and other reminders of her.
Do get in shape. Not only will it make you healthier, but it will also help process your anger and hurt feelings.
Don’t lose sight of who you are. Take the time to rediscover who you are and enjoy your own company. Reconnect with your old friends, hobbies and life goals.
Do get new experiences. Life is an adventure, so do the things you always wanted. Try something new, travel, meet new people, take up dance lessons…
Over to You…
Breakups are tough. No two ways about it.
When you feel ready, you are going to have to put yourself out there and find a wonderful lady. I wish you all the happiness in your future relationship.
What are the qualities that you look for in a woman?